Wired took a peek under Cool Whip‘s sheets, and the results are not appetizing. Mandatory food labels ostensibly exist to empower consumers; when companies label ingredients with their scientific names, rather than their common names, consumers can wind up eating lube, or as it’s called in Cool Whip, Polysorbate 60. From Wired:

Polysorbate 60
Polysorbates are made by polymerizing ethylene oxide (a precursor to antifreeze) with a sugar alcohol derivative. The result can be a detergent, an emulsifier, or, in the case of polysorbate 60, a major ingredient in some sexual lubricants.

Shame we never got to hear Charlton Heston exclaim: “Cool Whip is Lube!” — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

A delicious blend of sugar, wax, and condom lube. [Wired] which we grabbed from the Consumerist

Here’s a few picture galleries, of smoking fetish pics, for those of you without the gift of broadband. It’s a nice little pic series, that I found pretty sexy. Believe me, I went through a few before I picked these. Here’s a few more choices for those who love to blow smoke.

It’s time to mine the VOD Theater, for stuff that even Bittorrent can’t give you. That something is deep fetish stuff. You may find some, but you won’t find 36 Pony play movies in one place. Yes, you have to pay, but that’s how it should be. Supply/Demand. These aren’t little clips, or shitty encodes. This is a true video stream with quality as high as your pipe is phat (that’s your internet connection, sir. Not your penis. Please put that back until we’re finished. Thank you.) Complete movies, start to finish. And I have chosen Pony Girls as today’s featured film. Pop in and see it, or choose another of the 30+ pony movies in our vault. There’s much fetish to be found here. Godspeed.  Don’t forget to read my post on ponyplay, found here.

So you like the ponies, but you don’t gamble? There are many who do.  The Ponyplay, or indeed all animal role-playing, communities are very tightly-knit, and well organized.  There are even magazines devoted to the pursuit.

To feel the bit in your teeth, the reins controlling you, bridle, blinders, and boots.  Removing the humanity, with all its pressures, and substituting the simple, if trying, life of a beast of burden. As Samuel Johnson said, “He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.”

Pony play is more than mere submission, I think. It is a complete capitulation of one’s being, beyond identity. It is complete redefinition as something not-human, less than human, at least as I understand it from the words of those in the scene.  Paul Reed, who publishes Equus Eroticus puts it this way:

 “What I find exciting about ponyplay is that I enjoy having the exchange of power: one person giving another the right and/or privilege and/or honor of being dominant. Women and ponies are probably the most beautiful creatures on earth. It’s a tremendous feeling of satisfaction and eroticism out of ponyplay. I have them do whatever I say. I can have them go left or go right, or I can get off them and just spend time grooming them or whatever. They are completely at my disposal.”

Here is an excellent, well-maintained and updated FAQ about tall aspects of the pony life.  It’s very comprehensive.  The Village Voice did a story about pony play awhile back. I’ve seen it featured on an episode of The Secret Lives Of Women.  It’s definitely skirting the mainstream.  The picture to your left, the headshot of the girl with the bit in her teeth, is from MySpace. Her name is Luna Taylor and she is a fusion dancer, designer, and artist, who recently put on a ponyplay piece entitled UNMATA. Check out her blogs on MySpace. They’re great.

There is a wonderful resource page at the Stampede, where one can find much in the way of ponyplay information. The Stampede is “one of the nation’s largest organized ponyplay and human animal roleplay groups”.   It is in the San Francisco Bay area, but has members worldwide.

 

   

Just a little quickie. I found this picture while researching the Foot Fetish piece (below). It looked so good that I figured I’d throw it up on its own, since Smoking has its own category. Julie Simone definitely makes smoking sexy. She’s on MySpace too.

Yes, it’s feet day here at Quips & Chains. You can’t spell feetish without feet (I make mit der joking), and feet are the most popular, and common fetish out there (sorry gasmask enthusiasts!).  I already introduced the whole foot fetish thing, a while back.  So, now I am free to pimp movies, and pictures! (Fanfare) Relax. You knew what this was. This ain’t no hippie commune, and I can’t pay my rent with regard. So, suck it up, and consume. Tomorrow I’ll write about pony play, ok? Deal.

I sat through quite a few foot vids today.  One stood out. Spiked Heel Diaries Part 2. It was sexy. I liked it, and feet aren’t even my thing, so it stands to reason that you will like it. If feet are your thing, there are 875 films in the Foot Fetish category.  If you’re broke, and/or on dial up, I have some foot galleries at the bottom for your pleasure.  Go nuts. You have a right to pleasure, if it harms no one (who isn’t consenting).

     

Edgeplay is the category for those kinks that skirt the line of the “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” credo. Bloodplay (haematophilia) falls into that category, by most peoples’ reckoning. I have had a few inquiries about bloodplay, so I thought I would touch upon it today.

Vampire Fetishism, or bloodplay, tends to run in the goth vein (I make mit der joking), or the vampire subculture.  Participants in this scene are sexually aroused by the sight of, and/or extraction of blood. This may be their own, or their lover’s. For some, it is the sight of blood smeared on naked skin that does it for them. For others, it is the actual consumption of their lover’s blood, and/or the offering of their own. We’re not talking large quanitities of blood here. Usually just enough to get all smeared and bloody, and certainly no more than a mouthful, or two. It’s important to note that vampirism is categorized as edgeplay due to the risk of spreading infection, not due to any immediate threat, or danger, to the participants. So you can wear your Edwardian garb, substitute the letter  ‘y’ for ‘i’ in proper nouns, and speak like a prefect in I, Claudius. It’s not the mannerisms that make it fetish, it’s the rush. 

In the words of bloodplay practicioner, and Featured MySpace Friend, Lisa:

 Blood play to me, as I have used it, can be like a spiritual and deeper connection with my partner, obviously a partner that you’re monogamous and in a LTC with. We’ve done blood exchange via sanguine consumption during sex, or as a foreplay thing…cutting our arms and sucking on each others wounds…it’s pretty hot, and when you taste the blood it gives a bit of energy that’s more than just physical. It’s transendance…I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s pushing knife play a little further, or using razor blades just for the blood consumption. I think the taboo of the blood in general makes it that much more exciting. Gives you a feeling of really belong to the other person, and being a part of them, and them you. Know what I mean?

I think I do.  I think it’s interesting, given my penchant for kink in the mainstream, that the killer picture at the top of this post (DeKay, my first Featured MySpace Friend), and the quote shown just above, are from people on MySpace. Not from a paysite, or professional porn company… not that there’s anything wrong with that.   But regular people using the internet to define, express, and promote themselves. I like that.

While exploring the bloodplay thing, I fainted because I’m all man.  I saw a white light, at the end of a long tunnel. For a moment, I was One. Limitless. I grabbed this trascendant opportunity to look into the world of tomorrow, and I saw the fetishes of the future.  Actually, a very funny writer for Wired magazine wrote this, and I nicked it. Same thing.

High-G fetish: Accelerating to high G-forces causes blood to pool in parts of your body, puts enormous physical stress on the body and temporarily makes you look like a particularly vicious caricature of Popeye. Somewhere out there, someone is reading this and thinking, “Hot!” Once space travel becomes more commonplace, some entrepreneur is going to manage to take nudie pictures of this process and put them up on a web page, or even get a live cam going. Suggested fetish nickname: Pancake Flippers.

Alien fetish: Why haven’t extraterrestrial life forms contacted us? Maybe it’s because they know that as soon as they make themselves known, lusty earthlings will immediately start hooting at them to flash their gills, show everyone their nictitating membranes or participate in a wet tentacle contest. Aliens want to be liked for who they are, not because they have especially shiny electroreceptors. Try getting to know one first, maybe going out for coffee or ferrofluid and having a conversation, before trying to get it into the copulation chamber. Suggested fetish nickname: Elliots.

Hyperspace fetish: When asked, “What’s the first thing you’d want to do if you were translated into a state of quasi-existence in which you are simultaneously nowhere and everywhere at once?” 68 percent of people answer, “Totally get it on.” (Next most-popular answer: “Blog about it.”) Hyperspace sex becomes a popular pastime for adventurous college students and bored married couples. The main difficulty with the practice is that children conceived in hyperspace end up existing only as an uncollapsed wave of quantum probability, which often leads to discipline problems once they hit school age. Suggested fetish nickname: Crop Dusters.

Nanotechnology fetish: Obviously, in the future nanotechnology will affect all aspects of human sexuality, giving us everything from self-peeling condoms to spermicidal linebackers. Having your sex life enhanced by billions of imperceptible molecular devices will be seen as completely normal. However, a few people will become attached to nanodevices on an individual level, fantasizing about one particular nanomachine, giving it a name and writing elaborate erotic fiction involving shrinking down to an atomic level and consummating their attachment to a firm but gentle microscopic lover. Suggested fetish nickname: One Nanite Stands.

AI fetish: As the Turing Test gets closer and closer to being passed with a low D, some people will decide that humans, with their flaws and smells and need for periodic hydration, should be left out of the sexual equation entirely. Even robots are prone to breakdown and unsuitable for coitus in its pure intellectual form. Instead, these people will program elaborate sexual algorithms and release them into shared memory with similar programs by other people, then watch the output as the two programs interact. At first, these acts of AI intercourse closely mirror human interactions, but as time goes on they become more and more abstract. Eventually, a small but dedicated minority of human beings become instantly turned on by the phrase “swapping buffers.” Suggested fetish nickname: Geeks, Only More So.

Remember, I did not write this.  All credit must go to Lore Sjöberg or Wired.

 

 

 

This week’s queer fetish pic of the week, comes from our sister site, Queer Bites. Enjoy!

I saw this in the VOD Theater, and I gave it a look-see. This movie, by the lovely, and wicked Anastasia Pierce, is GREAT. I’m not just pushing the VOD Theater, although Ma is powerful sick, and the doctor says the medicine’s expensive.  I watched this whole movie, and said, “Goddamn! Now this is fetish! The Bondage is real. The action is intense, and Anastasia Pierce is an amazingly powerful femdom. She has a Swiss accent that is uber sexy. The movie starts out sweet and a little lesbian-y (no problem there), with the regulation “Ooh. My neck is so sore” massage while wearing lingerie .  Within three minutes, they’ve adjourned to the bedroom for “some fun”.  Poor Sasha Monet walks right into it. Soon enough we get to fucking machines, rope bondage, and poor Sasha Monet saying, “I’m sick of this! I don’t want to play like this anymore!”, while Anastasia (tying the rope tightly around the leg spreader) replies, “I don’t care what you want.”

Sexy stuff. Spoiler Alert:  There’s lots of sex. Also, interesting note: Anastasia has the same cordless vibrator my beloved uses. Small world, eh? By the end, the tables are turned, and Sasha spanks, whips, and binds Anastasia, who shows that that she can switch with the best. It then concludes with ten minutes of ballgagged Anastasia struggling on the floor, and crying.  This movie is sexy as hell. See it.

I came across this little number this morning from news24.com, courtesy of the Bondage Blog
Los Angeles – Eva Longoria loves being tied up during sex.

The Desperate Housewives  beauty – who is engaged to basketball star Tony Parker – enjoys being dominated in the bedroom.

She revealed to Live magazine’s Louise Gannon: “I’m not averse to being tied up in silk scarves. I like a man to take charge. There’s something very sexy about being submissive.”  (Good girl.)

The 32-year-old actress also revealed she regularly has Brazilian bikini waxes because she only ever wears G-Strings.

She added: “Every girl should have a Brazilian wax. It’s my sexy secret. And I only ever wear thongs. I don’t own a pair of knickers with a proper back to them.”

Although Eva is seven years older than her fiancé, she claims she prefers older men.

She revealed: “I like a man with maturity. Wisdom and experience are very sexy to a woman.”

Eva also hates men being obvious when they flirt with her.

She said: “There is such a thing as a bad chat-up line – and they’ve all been tried out on me. The least sexy thing a man can do is whistle at a girl in the street or cat call at them.

“It’s so unsexy, so uncool. If I see any builders working in a street I’ll turn right round and walk in a different direction. I hate all that shouting and whistling.” – Bang Showbiz.com

Now it wasn’t said outright, but one can only assume that Eva has had this erotic awakening because of this very blog. I know! So, Eva. You are welcome to come by and explore this side of your sexuality.  I promise you will not end up living in a box under my bed……..probably.