Those of you with keen eyes may have noticed a little change in the top banner of the fetish blog. What was Quips & Chains is now Social Kink Presents Quips & Chains.  Nothing else has changed, except cosmetically. The company that owns Quips & Chains also owns Social Kink, for which I write. Social Kink is about to be formally launched, at Skin 2, in London. No, I’m not going to that one, alas, although I will be at Domcon Atlanta.  All that need concern my loyal readers (both of you… I make mit der joking) is the Video On Demand Theater. From this point forward I will be linking all my movies to Social Kink’s VOD Theater. No worries. It’s the same theater with the same 50,000 movies, just a different URL in the link. Fear not. You won’t even notice the difference.  Ok? Ok!

This article is from my friend Scott McGowan’s excellent site, Eye On Adult.  I’m reposting it because it addresses exactly what I’m going for with Kink in the Mainstream.  Read it and enjoy.               

 Kinks:  Everybody’s got one, or at least that’s my thought on the matter. The problem is that, from my experience, most people don’t even know it, or at the very least, are scared to admit it. See, the world of fetish is kind of shrouded in mystery for most people, maybe even yourself. Hell, we have enough trouble talking about regular old vanilla sex in this fuckin’ country without adding in handcuffs and ball gags. It’s even worse for women. Even in 2007, should a woman admit in mixed company that she likes for her husband to pull her hair when they have sex, it’s like putting a big, red neon sign above her head that reads, “slut.”

Even with that being the case, I’m almost convinced that pretty much everyone has some kind of kink. Now, for the sexually undereducated, I’m not saying that everyone in the world wants to dress up in leather and had have a car battery hooked up to his or her nipple rings or some such nonsense. Instead, what I’m saying is that I believe that everyone has something that’s just off the beaten path, if not something that is by nature nonsexual, that arouses him or her. And it can be anything, really. From feathers to bullwhips, cotton panties to latex body suits, naughty nurse role-play to full on Dominance/submission, there are a million things out there that can get you hot and bothered.

Before I go further, I want to explain why I choose to use the word kink more often here than the word fetish. By all established definitions, the term fetish is reserved for non-sexual fixations that must be present in order for that person to be sexually gratified. It’s a heavy term, man. In fact, it really indicates a form of sexual disorder rather than something fun or positive. Now kink, on the other hand, though only loosely defined by dictionaries and always designated as slang, doesn’t seem quite as weighty. Ya know, can’t ya just hear someone saying in an excited voice, “Ooooh! Isn’t that kinky?” Just doesn’t conjure the image a dungeon with some hairy, sweaty Master type in an executioners hood patrolling his dungeon full of emaciated slaves wallowing in their own filth, does it?

Instead, I’m thinking of just some little thing, that in nature has nothing to do with the genitals or sex inherently that just kinda gets yer motor running. For instance, one of the things that has become kind of popular lately is women wearing glasses. This is evident in several new porn series like Specs Appeal. It’s just something playful and interesting that can be sexy. Hell, as I’ve said in the past, I have my own kinks!

“But why does everyone have to have a kink?” you might be asking yourself. Well, I don’t suppose one has to have one, I just see it to be quite likely. Ya see, the human brain, which is what controls our sexuality after all (not our genitals), is a very, very complex organ. It’s capable of amazing things, especially when compared to our cousins in the mammalian class of animals. Unlike, say, a dog, we are capable of complex emotions, choices of foods, whether to attempt conception or to simply enjoy sex without reproducing, innovate and improve our quality of life rapidly, etc. The list is endless, so I’ll spare you. My point is why wouldn’t the average, highly complex human brain just kind of take something around us and make it inspire sexual feelings? Take for instance, a nurse’s uniform, something I mentioned earlier. Now in our minds, what does a nurse represent? Nurses represent personal caregiving to a person that is sick or injured. They take care of us. No doubt, that inspires feelings of adoration at times. It’s well documented. It also inspires a certain sense of submission, seeing as the patient is would not be capable of asserting dominance in such a weakened condition. So, this naturally lends itself towards something intimate, not unlike sex. See what I’m getting at? Another example might be something like red lipstick. Any idea why that might elicit sexual feelings? If not, just think about this- warm, red, lips. If you’re still clueless, just think about some other part of the anatomy that when aroused, becomes red, plump, and also has lips.

When I asked my friend, Carl Hungus, who writes the fetish blog QuipsAndChains.com his thoughts on the topic, he responded by saying:

“Given the complexity of the human psyche, and the seeming limitless expanse of the imagination, I think it should be accepted as given that everyone has something that turns them on High. You may not know what it is. You may never know. It may be something as mundane as paprika on a hard-boiled egg. It may be as hardcore as yearning to live in a cage as a piece of filth sub. We humans are animals. At no time is that more self evident than when aroused. You know (I hope, dear reader) how it feels when your partner is panting and wild eyed, like a spooked horse, and begs/orders (whatever your kink, baby) you to, “Fuck me! Fuck me hard. FUCK ME!!” Hell yes, I’ll fuck you. You asked for it, you dirty slut. … Sorry, I, uh, got into character. The point is that our humanity is just a little turkey slice of forebrain. That’s it. The rest of the hardware we share w/ our animal cousins. As Robert Anton Wilson just spoke, in my headphones, “What the front brain knows does not control you at all.”

And I think that just about sums it up.

So next time you see a high-heeled shoe, a leather motorcycle jacket, a razor blade, a giant stuffed polar bear, or even a doughnut, just think to yourself, “I wonder if that would feel good.”

You just might surprise yourself.

  AMEN!
 

What is it about ropes?  When we joke about bondage, we say whips and chains.  However, when we consider bondage, do we not all think of rope?  Rope transcends gender, sexuality, and polarity.  Tops and bottoms love to be tied, or to tie.  The act is complete in itself.  Anything that happens after the knots are finished is up to the people involved. The experience is universal.  Tying someone nicely takes a great deal of both time and concentration.  I think, perhaps, it’s time for us to shed the polarities (dualities) of traditional D/s, and accept that sexuality (the experience of sex in the field of time) is much more fluid than simple Top/Bottom.  It can be said that the effort of tying someone shibari style is a submissive act, as it is (in some way) done in service to the (desires of the) person being tied. What do you think? 

 In addition to being the Prince of Dorkness at Quips & Chains, I write for a fledgling humor site, Funny Extreme. Both jobs are fulfilling in different ways.  This week I experienced a “through the looking glass” moment, when the two worlds collided.  It started when I was watching a movie, Smoking Sluts, from our VOD Theater.  I was going to review it for Quips & Chains. However, this movie was so awful, I mean Ed Woods awful, and I mean net not gross. By that I mean taking into account it’s a porno, a fetish porno, an amateur fetish porno… you see where I’m going. My expectations were not very high.  Yet this movie sucked so bad, that I had to, I had to,  review it on Funny Extreme.

Simultaneously, I was looking at a college humor site, Gin & Jews, looking for pics to show on Funny Extreme. I noticed, amid all the drunk pics, about 5% of the pictures were of girls peeing. “Hmm,” said the fetish writer to the humorist. “Methinks I see an example of Kink in the Mainstream.”  So, I crossed the streams and put the fetish porn on the humor site, and humor pics on the fetish site. It felt right. So look at these pictures of drunk girls peeing, and ask yourself why they are considered college humor, when there are hundreds of Pay-Per-View movies with the same content, but in a fetish porn category? Often  when confronted with something that rattles our cages, or jingles our bells, we say, “That’s silly.” when we really mean, “That is so fucking hot.” How come?

I’m writing this post because of the picture above.  The look on her face says that she is a naughty girl, and she digs what is happening. :)  In our rush to expand and explore our repetoire of kink, let us not forget the basics. What is bondage about at its core? It’s about power, control, and holding someone down and fucking them until they chew through the gag enough to say the safeword. Well, you know what I mean.  Even though those bound beauties, of either gender, may seem helpless, they are in fact crucial to the experience. You see, all this play puts us in a different head space. You all know that. But all the work, tying knots, checking, rechecking, spanking, teasing, dominance, submission (a chore in itself), all are rituals for One Result. That result is to get to a point where we forget ourselves, and give in to the energy, the flow, of Sex. I prefer the dominant role, and my beloved prefers submissive, and we both enjoy playing.  All the rigamarole builds a charge that, when released, carries us away in an inrushing surge of YES! The roles become reality, briefly, and as such, become transcendant.  It is, in a word, magick. Here endeth the lesson. 

I don’t know how it’s been for you all, but today is dragging by. I have about an hour left, but I’m dying inside. Nothing bad happened today, no monsters, but it’s just time for it to be Friday, and … it isn’t.

I really can’t complain about my job. I write a fetish blog, a brand new humor site, a babe blog, and the occasional spot on an adult industry insider site. Work is cool, chill, and pretty low key. It’s surprising how normal the porn industry is. There may be more piercings, tats, and t-shirts, than the local branch office, but the work is pretty much the same. I come in, in the morning, coffee in hand, and start site checking. That’s exactly what it sounds like. I go through the minutiae of our (AEBN) erotica sites, Lusty Library, and Sticky Pen, and look for bugs. The programmers have been known to dink around on the back end of things, and mess up the front (what you see). After about 30-45 minutes of click, click, click, click, I open up my email and IM programs and plug in to the rest of the company.
There’s chit chat about last night’s television (OMG can you believe Melinda got voted off Idol?), movies, life, and then to work. Work means, in regards to Quips & Chains, that I first decide what fetish to focus upon. Then I search my files for material to post. I can’t just grab pics willy-nilly that often. I usually need to use a site with which we are affiliated (good), or we own (better). These pics are linked (usually) to what are called FHGs (Free Hosted Galleries), which are the sample platters in the Hickory Farms that is the porn world. These galleries have unique codes, in their URLs, that let the site owner know who sent you there. That way, if you like what you see, and sign up, we get a taste. Then of course there’s the VOD (Video On Demand) Theater , which is a unique portal to the real purpose of Quips And Chains, which is to sell movies. That’s fine. I am given a lot of freedom with this site, and I appreciate it. That freedom is purchased with results. Hence all the links you see in this text. So, I write a blog about a given fetish, today it was Stockings, and pepper it with pics, and links, and a VOD plug. You read it, click the pics, and enough of you watch a vid, or join a site, to keep me in business. Thanks! I also spend time on the various MySpace and xPeeps accounts I have (one for each site I have). Then I eat lunch, listen to headphones, write more, have a meeting or two, and go home. Then I get up, and do it again. Ta-Da!

Why, O Why is kink taboo? For that matter, why is sex still taboo? Why, after the Sexual Revolution, has American society (as a whole) slid backwards? Why can we show Dennis Franz’s grizzled ass on primetime tv, but Janet Jackson’s nipple causes chaos? Twenty years ago, Frank Zappa spoke to Congress, about the dangers of nipples (it’s not in the link I gave you, but it’s from the same session I think). I’ll say that again, in case you’re not tearing your own eyes out in surrealistic angst. Frank Zappa spoke to the Congress of the United States, about First Amendment rights. And the bad guy? Everyone’s hero, and secret hope for next president (mine too), Al Gore.
Everyone is sexual. Almost everyone has sex. The top 10% of the most hardcore, intolerant, bible-quoting, evangelicals, have sex. And yet, it is shameful. The default attitude toward sex, in the country, is (ssssssssssh. Nasty business). Is it all because we were founded by crazy intolerant, witch burning, fire and brimstone, Christian extremists? For the most part, yes. Having grown up in New England, I can tell you that the Puritanical attitude still underlies the societal strata.
However, when you squeeze a balloon, you just make it bulge elsewhere. And although AIDS and Reagan managed to derail the sexual revolution, the Internet has made it airborne. All the sex you want is there, as is all the religion, politics, stupid animated gifs, and e-cards. Now the same people that screeched about the evils of freedom in music, are screeching about the evils of the internet. The same argument applies, as does the same solution. Take responsibility for your actions, and for God’s sake, supervise your kids. My daughter got her internet privileges taken away for good, for posting some stupid shit on myspace. But… I monitored her use, and came down like the Hammer of Thor (Oh No! Pagan reference! Quick! Outlaw anything but Abrahamic religions). Beware that a live and let live attitude on your part, may not be reciprocated by those with power. The Christian Right (although badly beat down, will rise again, like kudzu), does not respectfully disagree. They know that the Omnipotent Creator of the Universe is in their corner. When one has that outlook, it is easy to go from inquisitive (What exactly is BDSM, and how does it fit in a marriage?), to Inquisitorial, (Well, we know what you’ve been doing. And we’re going to punish you, for your own good.)
Beware. People who think they have God on their side, can justify anything.
So too, the Quips & Chains Fetish Blog, and even if it’s not your thing (which is fine), understand that it is other peoples’ thing. And that’s ok too.

So. for the good of children everywhere. For the good of Freedom. For the good of America…. here is a sexy boob. God Bless.

There is a theme to which my mind ever returns. That theme is Kink In The Mainstream. I just came up with the phrase, when I took over this blog, about a month ago. As I wrote more blogs, and researched more fetish porn, I realized that Fetish/Kink is everywhere, in very public parts of our culture. Peter and Lois Griffin are in the BDSM scene, at 9 o’clock every Sunday, safe words, leather hoods, whips, and all. Beyonce’s video? I have pages and pages of links to pay sites that look exactly the same, but sans Beyonce. Kink is everywhere, and the bar for taboo viz. Fetish is raising ever higher. Spanking, D/s, Leather, Latex, Rubber, Water Sports, Enemas, Yiffs, You Name It… it’s been referenced, or represented in the mainstream media, and/or culture. I think that this Rennaisance is the result, for the most part, of our dear old internet. That, and the digital revolution in general, with thousand of television channels, instant communication, and transfer of information. The global village has become the global neighborhood.

So, as kink becomes mainstream, we representatives of kink must walking blinkingly into the light of acceptance. As latex fetishes become the social equivalent of stamp collecting, or scrapbooking, then must we shed the aura of the Forbidden? Part of being into a kinky little scene, is the naughtiness of it. If it’s not cool, then do we still do it? If you saw your parents involved in bloodplay, would you throw out your fangs, and drop the -zrael from your name? Some would, to be sure. Some would move on down the road, into the next kink down the line. But some would do it, even if it was more common and accepted than holding hands. The fact is, as we evolve sexually as individuals, experimenting and trying things out, networking with similar people… so too our society evolves, and sexuality sheds the skin of Church mandated Sinfulness, and people are free to pursue their happiness, vouchsafed more than 200 years ago by these guys.

Women can dress in rubber, Trent Reznor , Anders Manga, and Maynard from Tool can continue w/ the creepy videos. It’s all good. You have the right to pleasure. Very libertarian. Also very Hermetic (Do what thou wilt…). Since you have a right to pleasure, and a right to share it, or flaunt it, or celebrate it, to whatever degree you wish, to a point. You can’t wear assless rubber chaps to work, but you can certainly find enough sources online, that you can honest shop around. And the mailman won’t look at you funny, or make you come downtown to sign a loyalty oath. Society inches ever forward, toward the acceptance of pleasure as a right. You can buy a personal massager (wink wink) at Wal-Mart, or any department store. You can buy warming sex lube at the pharmacy, by the condoms, and austere, metal tubes of K-Y Jelly.

Yay Fetish people. Yay Internet! Yay Quips Chains Fetish Blog for singlehandedly changing the world!

You’re welcome! Now go play.